Damnation: A Cinderella Retelling (Tales of Cinder Book 3) Read online

  “We cannot postpone again, Mama,” Porcia said softly.

  “Do you think I don’t know this?”

  I could feel her gaze on me.

  “I cannot decide if it’s the Prince’s fascination with you or the servant’s that keeps him returning,” she said.

  My heart ached at the memory of Kaven’s face as he’d looked upon me only moments ago. There’d been a desperate need in his eyes that hadn’t escaped Maeve’s notice. I couldn’t begin to suppose what he might have been thinking of my avoidance of him since our time in the woods five nights ago.

  “I suppose you think I should be grateful your hair has grown back,” Maeve said. The edge to her words kept me silent.

  Each morning, she cut my hair only for it to grow back to its old length even faster. This morning, it had only taken two hours.

  “I know someone is helping you. These little games will do nothing to stop me from reclaiming what is rightfully mine.” She pressed her hands flat against the table. “And when I have what I want, you will be truly punished for every moment of defiance you have shown me.”

  She hit the table hard.

  “Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

  I immediately met her gaze. From my peripheral, I could see Porcia’s pale and terrified face and Cecilia’s carefully blank one.

  “I will flay the skin from you piece by piece, starting at your feet. Tell me who is helping you,” she demanded.

  I thought of Rose and opened my mouth. No sound emerged.

  Maeve’s face turned red, and I thought she would strike out at Cecilia, who was closest. Instead, she took a few calming breaths.

  “Very well. We have a ball to prepare for. Cecilia, have the maids prepare the bath water. Porcia, send Seth to me. I will respond to the Prince that we will dine with him tomorrow. Eloise, back to your room. I will let you out tomorrow morning if one of your sisters is successful tonight. If not, I will ensure you succeed where they failed.”

  “Yes, Mama,” all three of us said at the same time.

  I fled quickly, escaping to my sanctuary. My shorn hair from this morning lay scattered near the table. Since that first morning, she hadn’t used Seth to hold me down. And I hadn’t fought her. There was no point when we both knew it would only grow back.

  Going to my bed, I idled away the hours and listened to Cecilia and Porcia prepare for the ball.

  There were no giggles and excited chatter this time. Only quiet whispers, which I couldn’t even understand when standing directly above the vent.

  I was impatient for them to leave so I could go to the tree to change. I needed to arrive at the ball first. My urgency, however, was torn between finding Kaven to apologize and approaching the Prince. How did one ask for a prince’s hand in marriage? I wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my gown and began pacing the floor.

  When the hour arrived for my sisters to depart, my door opened once more, and Maeve ascended. In her hand, she held the shears. She looked at the hair I’d piled together from all of the shearings.

  “You were restless today. I could hear you walking back and forth. To keep you busy, you will cut your hair tonight each time it grows back. I will check on the size of the pile when I return.”

  Her words didn’t fool me. I knew the task had nothing to do with my restlessness and everything to do with her suspicion I was somehow gaining outside help.

  With a racing pulse, I took the shears from her and said a weak, “Yes, Mama.”

  She nodded and left me, locking the door behind her.

  I looked down at the shears and debated cutting away my hair now. If I did, it wouldn’t regrow quickly enough to disguise me at the ball. If I didn’t… I looked at the small mound of hair by the window. Given the hour and how quickly it had grown this morning, I wouldn’t have a big enough pile by the time she returned. She would either believe I had disobeyed or that I had left to find help again. Both would lead to a worse fate if I failed to gain the Prince’s affection tonight.

  So, I couldn’t fail.

  Tossing the shears aside, I fetched the key and made my way downstairs. A soft noise from the dining room sent my heart racing. I looked around in panic and hurried to the wall near the dining room door.

  “You want to go in the mistress’s room or the older miss’s?” one of the maids asked.

  “Neither. Both make me feel as if I’m being watched.”

  “It’s probably the one in the attic, peering through the floorboards.”

  They both left the dining room, focused on their conversation, and made their way to the stairs. I held my breath until they reached the landing and turned their backs to me. Heart racing, I slipped into the dining room and hurried for the kitchen door. Only when I reached the trees, could I draw a decent breath again.

  Picking up my skirts, I ran along the path until I arrived in the clearing. The tree started to shiver as soon as I approached. I stood under its limbs as petals rained down on me and a light grew brightly in its branches.

  When the dress fell, over half the branches were barren. After the shoes and mask fell, very little remained. With the dress bundled in my arms, I leaned my forehead against the trunk as it began to split.

  “For all that you’ve already done and given me, I am forever grateful. Let us both hope tonight will be the end of this, and I will do what must be done.”

  The bird began to tap the wood impatiently, this time stopping at eleven.

  I stepped back and began to strip from my gown.

  “I will leave before the bells toll for the eleventh hour.”

  Standing in my shift, I shook out the dress and stared in awe at what the tree had created for me. The material seemed spun of silver and stitched with threads of gold. The colors glinted and played off one another in the moonlight. Hurrying, I dressed and marveled at the full skirt and elegant design that left much of my back exposed. The shoes, like the dress, were of both silver and gold. But, it was the mask that really drew my attention. Golden feathers swept out from the side, drawing one’s attention to the diminutive golden beak that covered the top portion of my nose.

  Silence filled the clearing, and I looked up to see the glimmer of the garden between its two halves. I quickly tied the mask in place and stepped through the shimmer. The soft strands of music greeted me on the other side.

  Sparing no time to marvel at the beauty around me, I hastened from the water and across the lawn. People mingled just on the other side of the hedges and upon the steps. A few paused in the middle of whatever they were saying to stare at my sudden appearance. I didn’t stop or offer any more than a hasty smile.

  Couples were already dancing, but the ballroom didn’t seem as crowded as it had been the time before. I’d almost made it across the space when an arm caught me around the waist.

  “End my torment and dance with me,” Kaven said in my ear.

  I froze, heart beating hard as my chest tightened. I wanted nothing more than to idle away the hours in his arms. Closing my eyes against the pain, I shook my head.

  “I cannot. I must see the Prince.”

  He turned me, and I forced myself to meet his gaze.

  “Why?” he asked softly, taking my hand in his. Just the simple touch of his fingers against mine was enough to dampen some of my hurry.

  “I’m supposed to present myself to the court first, not after I dance the night away.”

  “Hmm.” He pulled me closer. “Are you sure? I don’t recall a proclamation stating such.”

  I swallowed hard when he turned us into the dancers, joining their sweeping moves.

  “Please, Kaven,” I said softly. “Do not make this more difficult than it already is.” The pain in my middle grew. “I cannot spend all my time with you.”

  “And why not? Am I not good enough for you?”

  “For me, you are the sun and moon and stars. You bring light into my life where there is otherwise none.”

  His steps slowed.

  “You n
eed more time,” he said.

  “I need understanding,” I said, for no amount of time would change what needed to be.

  He sighed.

  “I will take you, then.”

  We stopped spinning, and he offered his arm. I set my hand on it, hoping he wouldn’t note the tremble. People watched us as we crossed the room.

  I glanced at Kaven. Dressed in a white jacket trimmed with gold, he was a dashing figure.

  “Is that a real gold mask?” I asked, noting the etchings on the otherwise unadorned surface.

  “It is.”

  “Does it bother you to wear such riches frivolously when so many go hungry less than a catapult’s throw from the castle?”

  He glanced at me.

  “Does it bother you to wear your frivolities?”

  I looked down at the dress.

  “Bother doesn’t sufficiently describe how very much what I’m wearing disturbs me.”

  When I looked up at him, he was frowning.

  “Why did you wear it then?”

  “Because I must.”

  “As must I.”

  His words only served as a reminder of what I was about to do. He was a servant of the Prince. The very man I was about to openly proposition. It would break Kaven. But no more than it would break me.

  Instead of going to the ornate doors of the court, he veered to one of the side halls. The guards who stood there nodded and let us pass.

  “You’re shaking,” Kaven said, placing his hand over mine.

  “We’ve just crossed into a part of the castle where guests are discouraged from going. By sword point. Of course I’m shaking.”

  He chuckled and led me toward a set of stairs protected by two more of the King’s guard. They, too, nodded as we passed and began to ascend.

  “There is nothing to worry about,” he assured me. “You’ll be welcomed.”

  He stopped in front of a plain door and knocked softly.

  “Enter,” a deep voice called.

  Kaven opened the door and bade me to enter. Inside, the King stood by the fire, striking a pose so similar to the one I’d seen his son strike countless times before.

  “Your Majesties, may I present to you Eloise Cartwright, Margaret Cartwright’s daughter.”

  I gave a deep curtsy. The Prince, who had been sitting in a chair near his father, rose with a smile.

  “Eloise,” he said. “This is a welcome and pleasant surprise. You just saved me from a long lecture regarding my duties tonight.”

  The King harrumphed.

  “Hardly a lecture. However, your presence is welcome, Miss Cartwright.”

  The King nodded at me and looked at Kaven.

  “If Miss Cartwright can spare your presence,” the King said, “we need to speak about tonight’s plans.”

  “Of course, Sire,” I said quickly.

  Kaven waited for the King to precede him out the door, then left me alone with the Prince. The opportunity couldn’t have been more perfect. When I turned, I gave a startled laugh at how closely the Prince now stood.

  “I apologize,” he said quickly. “I only wanted to thank you again for your timely intervention. You seem to have a knack for it.”

  “I am at your service. Always.” I took a calming breath. “Which is why I insisted on speaking with you.”

  “Oh? How can I help you?”

  He took my hand and set it on his arm to lead me to a seat.

  “It’s I who can help you,” I said, as I turned toward him as he sat beside me. “For the sake of the kingdom, I will wed you if you would have me.”

  His brows rose, and he coughed out a laugh.

  “I don’t think Kaven would approve of your offer. Or my father.”

  “I don’t see why not. Your father wants you to wed and produce an heir for the safety of the kingdom. Unless some maid has already ensnared your interest, I see no reason for your father to disapprove of our union. By your own words, my family is in good standing with the Crown, and I know I can pass all the tests required.”

  His humor faded in the face of my earnestness.

  “Why would you do this?”

  “For the sake of the kingdom and all those who fall under its rule. I’ve seen too much suffering to do nothing.”

  He glanced away, looking at the fire.

  “Your offer is unexpected but not unwelcome. I will need some time to consider it.”

  “Of course. I will see myself to the main ballroom.”

  He nodded absently, and I left the room. A door down, the murmur of Kaven’s voice drew my attention. I hesitated, wondering if I should wait for him to finish his discussion with the King or leave on my own. After my talk with the Prince, I wanted to leave without facing Kaven. But it would be cruel to let him hear of my proposal from the Prince instead of an explanation from my own lips.

  I approached the door and heard more than I should.

  “…send her away. You know what’s at stake.”

  “Father, please. The longer we wait—”

  “Greydon, enough,” the King said sharply.

  Unable to help myself, I moved forward until I could see around the partially closed door. I stared at the room’s only two occupants in horror as pain sliced through my heart and robbed me of air. There was no mistake in whom the King addressed as Greydon or who Kaven had just addressed as Father.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The King sighed wearily and gripped his son’s shoulder, both still unaware of my presence in the hall.

  “I understand your concerns. The girl is lovely, no doubt, but she needs to leave. Immediately. The castle is the last place she should be seen.”

  Deceived. Used. Now, cast aside. Crushing the soft material in my fisted hands, I lifted my skirts and stepped away from the door.

  The hallway suddenly felt too narrow, and I struggled to breathe as I hurried back the way I’d come.

  “Eloise,” the Prince said, emerging from his room just as I’d passed it.

  Turning slowly, I looked at the imposter.

  “What’s happened?” he asked, moving toward me. “You’re pale. Are you hurt?”

  I flinched back when he reached for me.

  “Do not touch me. Is it you I should call Kaven? Or is that name nothing more than a figment to fool simple maids?”

  His hand dropped to his side.

  “I see.”

  “I do not. What a jest my offer must have been for you. What new cruelty will I face on the morrow?”

  “Eloise, it’s not what you think.”

  “I believe it is.” In my eyes, the King and his son were no different than Maeve and her daughters.

  “I’m Garreth, second in line for the Crown, after my brother, Greydon. I stand in his place to protect him from those who are trying to cause him harm.”

  Behind him, Kaven—no, Greydon—stepped into the hall. He frowned when he saw me.

  “She knows,” the Prince said.

  “Yes,” I said softly. “She knows.”

  Fear lit in Kaven’s eyes—I closed mine briefly, forcing myself to acknowledge there was no Kaven. Only Greydon.

  When I opened them, Greydon was striding toward me. I shook my head, turned, and ran.

  “Eloise, wait!”

  His footfalls echoed behind me. So much anger gave me the will necessary to keep ahead of him. I sped the length of the hall and down the stairs, almost losing a shoe. The guards stepped toward me.

  “Do not touch her,” Greydon commanded. “Eloise, let me explain.”

  Every vile name I could think of bubbled up in my mind as I recalled the night we’d spent together. I’d thrown myself at him. What a fool I’d been. Prince Greydon had never been in danger. They’d been using Garreth to draw Maeve and her daughters out. Much like me, Garreth was the sacrifice.

  “Stop this foolishness,” he said as I reached the end.

  Oh, I am, I thought silently.

  The next set of guards didn’t even hear me until I burst
into the main hall filled with masked people, all gaily enjoying the commencement of the third ball. Those nearest the private hall hurriedly parted to make way for me. That commotion caused those between me and the exit to step aside.

  I could hear Greydon behind me, but he didn’t call my name or demand I be stopped. He didn’t need to. He knew where I lived.

  Reaching the outer doors, I panted for air and lifted my skirts higher to sprint down the steps. Below, I saw the familiar faces of Cecilia and Porcia. Faltering, I almost lost my balance. Instead, I lost a shoe.

  Desperation saw me to the bottom, and I slipped from the castle grounds into the night.

  Numb, I listened to the snick of the shears and pulled another clump of hair forward. The golden strands fell victim to the sharp metal edges and floated to the floor with the rest.

  I only did as Maeve had told me because I didn’t know what else to do. I’d returned to the tree and cried at its roots. After removing my ballgown and tossing it into the branches, I’d redressed and returned to my room undetected. Emotionally raw at the betrayal of the Royal family and everyone else in my life, I struggled to form a single reasonable thought.

  Why had Kaven kept everything from me? Why tell me I would be his forever when he had no right to make such promises? It didn’t matter that I’d been of a mind not to accept his promise. I had pushed aside my own desire for happiness to help the people, offering him only one night together, nothing more. And, it didn’t matter that I’d kept truths from him as well. It was only the spell and the need to protect him that kept me silent.

  Out of hair, I lowered my hands and let my arms rest for a few minutes. My scalp tingled as the new hair rapidly grew. How many times had I cut every strand from my head? I looked down at the hair circling my chair. Many times from the looks of it.

  The rattle of the carriage announced the return of those who had created all of my woes. Lifting my arms, I snicked away at my hair again. Silence continued in the house, but I wasn’t lulled by it. And the sound of my door opening several moments later wasn’t unexpected.

  “Eloise, come down here.”

  “Yes, Mama,” I said, immediately standing and setting the shears aside. My scalp tingled on the right half of my head, already regrowing what I’d clipped away.